I began the day feeling like I'd lost something very important to me. A little grief-stricken, to be honest, about the election results and a friend's loss last night. I was missing that someone I share my hard times with and realizing how much strength I gain from him. He lifts me up.

I headed to the gym this morning after dropping Gillian off at school, at 8:35. Heehee. I got her there on time and was at Lifetime by 9am. It was an out of body experience, I thought I was someone else. LOL. I was still pretty down and tried to call a friend. I flipped through my book. I was toying with going to the 9:30 water aerobics class, especially when I realized I had my ipod earphones, but not the ipod. Saguine-ee!

I ended up writing a short note to clear my head a little and quickly slipped into my swimsuit and headed to the pool deck. It was amazing!! Being in the water and moving and really pushing my body like that, it was incredible!! I thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, I'm feeling so much firmer, even now an hour later. I loved being in the water and the movement and it was aerobic and also toning, simply amazing.

I might feel after effects, but I think it's the perfect thing for me with my back being a little weak. I know it got a work out too today, but without the usual stresses. It's like someone turned the sunlight back on ... there are moments here in these past few weeks when I feel like I have this special secret that makes me happy and no one else can really feel it or know how it makes me feel, but it makes me shine from inside. And it's not like I can really put a finger on it, except maybe to call it inner peace. The peace that comes from knowing you're doing those things that are most important and the joy that comes from recognizing that it all comes from a loving father in heaven.

Cora on December 19, 2006

Cora is growing by leaps and bounds. She's become quite attentive and loves to grab anything dangled close enough for her fingers to latch onto. She's very talkative, at least at home for us, and will smile at anyone who says hello to her. She's definitely a very happy baby and so cuddly!!

My sister in law is going to appear in a reality show on Oxygen on February 7th. So weird!! You can see a picture of her in today's Irvine, CA paper.

http://epaper.ocregister.com/Default/Scripting/ArchiveView.asp?enter=true&skin=OCW&Daily=OCWIrvineWorldNews&AppName=1&BaseHref=OCWIrvineWorldNews%2F2007%2F01%2F11&Page=19

Best of luck Nat!

Today has been an adventure so far, in fact, there's not a day in the past three months that you couldn't say that about. It seems that with three that things are suddenly always on the go and there's always something going wrong. So the real art to the parenting becomes dealing with those moments and happilly gliding along anyway. In fact, I've just sort of decided that I can expect the unexpected, for instance, someone wanting me to get them something when I cannot. Or someone waking in the middle of the night who hasn't for months. Or, like now, someone always being sick and mommy getting it too. I was often quite good at whining about these things in the past, but why waste my breath? Is it going to help me? Nope. Is it going to make it stop or go away? No way. So, there you have it, the hardest element of parenting is that it is a 24/7, always on duty or on call job. You never know when they'll need you and you'll never know when they'll pay you in return.

I'm in week three of a new habit. I've started walking at least 18 minutes six days of the week. I've hit every day so far and I decided I wouldn't let myself miss a day until I did hit the six week mark, which is well past the time they say it takes to establish a habit. It's really energizing me and giving me more of what I need to be a mommy. I'm also finding that I'm craving to be outdoors more than I had been in the past year. I even helped Gillian learn how to shoot the basketball this week, granny style. She mastered it fairly well and now gets the ball in about half of the time, maybe a little bit more. It's fun to see her get so happy about it.

Now, if I could just get Cora to sleep during the day, that'd be great. It looks like that child is going to have to be swaddled everytime she sleeps, not just at night. She had been napping really well in the swing until four days ago, and now she seems to be trying to sit up in her sleep and her head is falling forward and it's waking her up, so we're back to trying to set up a nap schedule for her again, which is so much harder with one in school. Naps always fall during the time that someone needs to be picked up. I really should talk to Leslie about possibly car pooling the girls, her daughter Cassie is in Gillian's class, in fact at her table, and they live three doors down. Imagine that!

( Cora Pictures )

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Today was definitely different, it'll stand out in my mind for a while anyway. The reason will probably begin with last night. I looked for books on babies and sleep yesterday and found a few. I sent Patrick to the library to pick them up, when he got back with them I started reading through them, kind of perusing.

Around 8:15pm, when Cora starts her nightly feed-o-rama, I had decided to do her bath. Just before that I had begun reading 'The Happiest Baby on the Block'. It was very insightful. He proposes babies need womblike environments to turn on their 'calm reflex'. So, after her bath she was swaddled up tightly, breastfed, and put to bed. A few minutes later she awoke and I emplolyed a few other techniques from the book to soothe her back to sleep, they worked like a charm and she was out for good at 9:45pm. In fact, she didn't wake up again until 6am. Bliss!!! So we started getting her ready for bed at 8:15 and she was out by 9:45, not too shabby!

I can't tell you how happy this made us, only the night before she had kept us both up until 1am. She had been awake all evening, probably from about 6pm on. I'm so glad I didn't take her to the doctor, as she would've likely not told me anything useful and said there was something wrong with her when there definitely was not.

Today was the day to go to my parents house to do cleaning tasks, and today they had lined up the garage for us. Yippee. Ugh. It was hot and humid, but not as bad as here, I think we made good progress, but I sure am wore out. I got up at 6am, fed her, went for a 15 minute walk, came home, showered, got us all ready, we all took Gillian to school and headed staright to my parents (a one hour drive), worked for 3.5 hours, drove back, picked up Gillian and headed home. I took a tiny nap around 4:30pm, Patrick left for his haircut around 5:20 and I got up. It started thundering and then it finally poured down some rain, thank goodness, but around 6:15 the power clicked off and it was followed by a huge thunderclap. I thought it'd just kick right back on, but no such luck. It was 10:15pm before the power was back.

We drove the kids around, went to Half Price Books, took them out for pizza buffet, and hung out at his parents house for a little bit, before resigning ourselves to the heat of an uncooled house and heading back here around 10pm. Luckily the electric company serviceman was here when we got here and it was only a few minutes later the power was back up.

It sure does make you greatful for your electricity. What would we do without it?!

My oldest started school today, wow. It's hard to believe really. It doesn't seem all that longer ago we brought her home, and it isn't really, five years is still pretty young, but almost a third of the life she'll live in our home. Gillian has been a real blessing to us. She has the sweetest of temperments and is always willing to help. She's been the biggest help to me since we brought Cora home, from big to small things. I will really miss having her here with me.

Of all of us I think Liam will miss her most. Those two have been thick as thieves these past 9 months or more. Gillian has been wonderful about playing with her brother, even when she'd rather not, and Liam wants to do and say all that sister does. Sometimes that gets him into trouble and other times it just means that he seems that much more grownup because of her influence. I'll look forward to holidays and Saturdays when I hope they'll continue to play well together.

Gillian was beyond excited to go to school today and came home quite happy and not so cranky as she often did from preschool, which does make me wonder. The time alteration will take us all some time to get used to, but shouldn't be too bad. The fact that Gillian gets out in the middle of Liam's nap has me considering having her ride the bus home. Of course, I think I'd still have to go and meet the bus at the end of the street, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll try and look into it.

So Gillian has to be at school by 8:20 now, about a full hour earlier than Tumble Bugs and it is five days a week. Hopefully, Liam and Gillian will adjust well, I think that they will. However, Cora seems to be the problem. She has major problems at night going to bed. She starts wanting to breastfeed around 7pm and doesn't seem to stop wanting to until around 11pm when she finally passes out.

Tonight was no different. By 9pm I had fed her probably 45-55 minutes in the two hours prior, she seemed quite out, I put her down only to have her screaming at me within minutes. I let her cry for 10 minutes at the end of which I got her out and she fed some more. She fell asleep, I put her down, and the process repeated ... so I got her out again and fed her once more, as she was asking to be fed again, then laid her back down. That was at 9:40pm. I let her cry until 9:56pm this time, at which time I went back and covered her back up, gave her a pacifier, and came in here to write this entry. It's now 10:07pm, by my watch, and as yet, I've heard nothing. We shall see if it holds.

Our little darling girl was born 8 days early on June 30, 2006. I haven't yet taken the time to type an entry, just to write one. It was quite the surprise to have her so early, especially when I was having such a hard time with the pregnancy. It was a prayer that I really didn't think would be answered.

( More and a Picture )

I wish Day 1 was an indicator of what Day 2 and Day 3 would be like. However, that's not the case. Day 2 was horrible and Day 3 is only a slight improvement.

Day 2 Highlights

• Slept from midnight until 4:30 with two feedings in there, then couldn't get Cora back to sleep after the 4:30 am feeding until 6 am.


• Liam coming into the house dripping wet with a swim diaper on he pooed in while I was trying to get the first bite of food I had had that day in the 5 minute break I had from Cora, in which she didn't sleep.


• Liam screaming as I put him down for his nap.

Day 3 Highlights

• Being woken up at 8:20 when Cora was still sleeping by Liam and Gillian


• Liam waking up Cora while I was in the shower by coming into the shower and opening the door and talking to me (meanwhile trying to freeze me).


• Liam hitting his sister and fighting with her.


• Gillian yelling at him for the above.


• Cora waking up angry, but not wanting to nurse.


• Liam and Gillian wanting to eat while trying to get Cora to nurse.

Thank goodness for the pacifier, somehow it soothed her enough to get her to finally nurse and she's been down for almost an hour now. I was going to say there were sweet giggles coming from Gillian's room, but they're over now and in it's place I have Liam yelling and pushing things. They're wild and it's way too hot to take them outside.